Overwhelmed. I know I've talked about it. I even know that I'm not supposed to worry about anything. We've covered it. I also know that sometimes life just seems to crash in all at once. Sometimes (all the time really) we need the strength of the Father to deal with it. Today has been one of those days. I'm not going to share a lesson, I'm going to share a request for prayer.
I've talked about how we've been waiting for the previous occupants to move out so that we can start work on the trailer. We have waited and waited, and in that time I've tried to prepare for what needs to be done. I knew there was a lot of cleaning to be done. Cleaning and I aren't exactly on good terms either. I struggle with it.
Well over the weekend the move began, them moving out I mean. Praise the Lord. It's almost time to get in there and get the dirty work done. However, today when I took a good look at what was needed, I felt it. That creeping up of doubt, fear, anxiety whatever you want to call it. There is so much to be done and it isn't going to be cheap. The wondering began, "How are we ever going to do this?"
I know that we have a fantastic support system. So many people have offered to help out in so many ways. I know that we aren't alone in this. When needed they will be here to help.
Those thoughts though, led me to another area I struggle with. My house is a mess! I struggle so much with it, and that has been used against me in the past. When my children were young, their Father used to berate me and tell me all the time that the house wasn't clean enough. He would constantly threaten to report it to CPS, and say the kids should be taken. He was right, it wasn't clean or perfect like a showplace, but those words left scars. We don't get a lot of company and whenever I know that someone is coming, I panic. I can't rest until I've done a whirlwind clean around the house. Even then, after I've straightened up, I'm nervous and fearful.
Lately we've been sorting for a yard sale, trying to de-clutter and prepare for when we can move. Sorting though leads to a mess. There are piles of stuff everywhere that are earmarked to leave the house. Also at this time, we have several boxes of my husbands belongings that were sent home after my in-laws moved. We are trying to sort that as well. In short. The house is a wreck. We barely have room to walk through it this week. The task of clearing it all out is overwhelming. Add the possibility of visitors coming to help with the other place and you've got one messed up girl.
I'm not sure where to start with the mess. The only thing I know is that I'm gonna need to rely on God a lot. I'm going to need strength both physically and mentally. I'm going to find strength in these promises, and I hope that you my friends will lift us up in prayer. We're gonna need all we can get.
"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Phillipians 4:13
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7