It's been a long day, or at least it seems that way. Andy and I were awakened at 4am by Abby after she had a nightmare. It was one of those that nightmares that is vague and not quite real enough to describe but terrifying. She wouldn't stop crying last night. This evening, well you guessed it, she won't go to bed. We're working on it.....
Last night didn't turn out the way a normal middle of the night awakening would. I felt an urgency in my heart, that what Abby needed was to stay awake and just spend time with me talking. I have failed my children so many times and in so many ways. Last night though, I think I got it right.
We talked about lots of things, random things, but things that she needed to get off her chest. Most importantly I had the chance to really apologize for the past. My little girl is growing...so quickly. She's desperately searching for love and she desperately needs to know that she is cared for. Don't we all feel that way though?
This precious child has never really known what it's like to have a Dad who loves her and who longs to spend time with her. Andy is trying to bridge that gap. I've encouraged him to find ways to spend time with her. With Jaden it's been easy for him to find ways to communicate. Not so with Abby, so he's been working on including her when running errands, and in daily conversation.
Last night, Abby asked me if she could take Andy's last name as her own. Step-parent adoption is something that Andy and I have discussed and are praying about. Andy wants to be the kid's father in every way, but he also wants them to want to be adopted. We haven't approached the kids with the idea and yet they keep bringing it up on their own. Last night, I explained a little bit about how adoption works and what it would mean to Abby. She still wanted to, so I told her it would be best if she talked to Andy about it as well (she'd only talked to me privately).
After talking with her, I witnessed what I can only imagine might be an illustration of how God longs to have us come to him. My daughter went to the kitchen and tentatively asked my husband. "Can I be adopted?" His response was "Who would be adopting you?" She pointed to him and smiled and then he wrapped his arms around her and said "Of course I would love to adopt you, Papa loves you Abby."
As I sat there crying watching her curl up in his lap, it occurred to me how simple it is for those of us who are searching for love to find it. We simply have to accept the love that our Heavenly Father is longing to give us. Just like my husband, he is waiting to be asked. He is waiting for us to open up and allow him to lavish us with his love and to guide us and correct us as we grow. I won't be posting scriptures along with this post because I don't think I could possibly explain how the Father loves us any better than He who has written the ultimate love letter to his children. So I will leave you with this link...I pray that you will read it and know how truly LOVED you are.
Father's Love Letter