Today I've been reading about serving and submission. I have to say....even as I write this I'm screwing up. God is working on me, and I'm learning....slowly.
I want more than anything for our marriage to be as God designed it to be. I want to learn how to be the wife that God has called me to be to my husband. I also want to earnestly seek the Lord and build my relationship with Him. I've been reading a book by Elizabeth George titled A Woman After God's Own Heart. I've been expanding on the chapters I read by searching more in depth into the relative scriptures in my bible and attempting to follow the challenges in the book. Today mostly focused on Ephesians 5.
"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord." Ephesians 5:22
"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:33
The author in the book I've been reading put it this way. The scriptures say we are to submit to our husbands as we would to the Lord. By submitting to the man God blessed me with, I'm actually honoring God! Modern thinking has so many women struggling with submission. Society (and the devil) wants us to believe that submitting to our husbands is outdated thinking. God designed marriage with the husband at the head for a reason. It's not my job to question that, it's my job to trust that God is using Andy and his decisions to fullfill his purpose for our family. I'm working on it....old habits die hard so they say. I believe that God can show me how to follow his instructions and I want to follow them. Today showed me that it's not hard to submit, and it's also not hard to screw up.
One of the challenges I read today about submission instructed women to respond positively to their husbands by. A. saying nothing (if you have something negative to say) B. responding with a single positive word. In the midst of my reading this chapter my husband asked me a question. My single word response was "Ok." That simple little word led to an absolutely wonderful afternoon with my husband. We've had such fun talking and hanging out today. I love it! I love being married to my best friend. Most people who know me also know that this is not my first marriage. It is however, the first time I have every felt so lighthearted and so much like a newlywed is expected to feel.
I did screw up today though, a few minutes ago to be exact. I have such a hard time with writing sometimes. I can't concentrate with distractions, and as I began writing this post my husband turned on the radio. I will confess that I was a bit snappy and the atmosphere completely changed as soon as the words were out of my mouth. It's kind of like baking I guess. Sometimes a little too much or too little of one ingredient can spoil the whole batch. Things can be going so well and then one small word can change everything.
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
My tone was harsh....and I was shown just how quickly all of my attempts at respect and submitting can be undermined. A teaching moment no doubt. I was quick to apologize to my husband and he quick to forgive. He's such a sweet heart and such a goofball. The old fashioned country he put on wasn't intended to grate on my nerves at all. It had a different purpose all together. He wanted to dance with me in our kitchen! ( How many blessings do we miss out on by being unkind to our spouse?) He told me as we danced to an old Willie Nelson song, "I like old country because...back then they really knew how to write a good love song."
I think, no....I know that my husband is right. There is nothing wrong with an "Old fashioned" kind of love. That's part of what this whole idea of doing a retro home is about. We don't want a modern home with "modern" morals. We want to embrace the plan God has for our marriage like our Grandparents did. I can certainly work on submission and service because I've been blessed with a husband who loves me! I have to let him be who God wants him to be.....and I have to learn to be who I need to be and I'm longing to be known as A Woman After God's Own Heart.